Help Me Forget
by Jessayra
Summary: Kendall has gone through some tought times and he wants James to help him forget. SLASH male on male action. don't like don't read.


Okay so my best friend dared me to write a one-shot involving guy on guy action so here it is and this is the first time I've written anything like this so go easy on me, I decided to go a bit deeper though with the meaning of this story.

It was plainly obvious to all that Kendall was the leader and dominant one of their little group followed closely behind by James. The blonde leader was always protective of the two younger and innocent members of the group, Carlos and Logan were like brothers to him and he felt it was his job to look after them. James was a completely different story James was Kendall's boyfriend and from a common glance you would say Kendall was the dominant one because well that's how it would appear with Kendall being the leader and James being the 'pretty boy'. What people didn't notice was that Kendall would pretty much melt every time James would touch him or say his name yes Kendall Knight fearless leader of Big Time Rush was submissive to James Diamond and when in 2J it was clearly obvious of James' dominant position.

The guys were currently sitting on the couch watching cartoons; Carlos and Logan were snuggling in the corner of the couch, which Carlos had his nose nuzzled into Logan's neck while Kendall had his head laying in James' lap while said boy ran his fingers through his boyfriends hair Kendall sighed in content and pulled his legs into his chest as he snuggled further into James' lap. James smirked at him wondering how the hell Kendall could be so submissive to him when he was clearly the leader of the group it made no sense to him, James could practically say anything and Kendall would do it no questions asked.

'James'. Logan's voice brought him out of his thoughts; he looked up to see Carlos and Logan looking at him.

'Yes Logan?'

'Kendall's fallen asleep, maybe you should take him to bed Gustavo made him work harder on his dancing then the rest of us.'

'Yeah your right, night guys see you tomorrow.'

James stood up with Kendall in his arms said boy fisted his boyfriends shirt and nuzzled into his neck James smiled at how cute and innocent his boyfriend looked, he entered there room pulling the covers back before gently placing Kendall on the bed all the movement woke said blonde up and he watched through half lidded eyes as James got into bed beside him as soon as he laid down Kendall immediately attached himself to James laying his head on his well defined chest. James placed a kiss to the top of the blonde's head as he pulled the blankets over there bodies.

'Jamie?' Kendall's voice was really soft.

'Hmm'. Came James' hummed reply.

'I… don't worry'. Kendall sounded worried almost scared.

'No Kendall I do worry, look at me'. James spoke softly to him trying to get him to respond.

'Babe, look at me'. The way James spoke was like a command and as soon as the words left his mouth Kendall's head snapped up looking him in the eyes.

James POV

I looked at my blonde green-eyed angel and as soon as I saw the tears silently running down his face and how he looked so broken and scared I felt my heart brake in two. I immediately sat up pulling Kendall into my lap he through his arms around my waits clinging to me as if he let go I would disappear he then tucked his head into my neck. I slid a protective arm around him and started to run my fingers through his dark blonde hair trying to calm my distressed boyfriend down.

'Kendall can you tell me what's wrong I hate seeing you like this.'

*Sob * 'You'll hate me'.

I stared at him shocked how could he possibly think I could hate him that's impossible.

'Kendall I could never hate you I love you, you mean the world to me but you have to tell me why you're so upset.'

'Promise?' It came out childlike and very low.

Kendall hasn't cried since his dad walked out on them when he was ten I'm glade Carlos and Logan aren't here to see this I think they would go into shock.

'Of Course Kendall I promise, I'm not going to leave you.'

He had tears streaming down his face and I could see he was trying to hold back the sobs. I moved my other arm to wrap around him my hand brushed against his ass and he jumped and started fully broke down, I don't understand why he is acting like this.

'Kendall you talk when your ready I'll sit here until then.'

I pulled him impossible closer and tightened my arms around his waste and I place my chin on top of his head.

It had been about ten minutes he calmed down and when he pulled his head up he became fascinated with drawing figure eights on my chest.

'You know about a month ago when I avoided you guys and well everyone except for my mum?'

'Yeah it lasted for about two weeks and then the next week you were really clingy and wouldn't let me go anywhere, you looked really scared and vulnerable a bit like you do now.'

'Um well the day before that I…I was walking to the shop to get some things for mum and I got knocked out by someone.'

'Whoa what?'

'Can you just wait until I've finished it's hard enough to get out as it is.'

'Sorry babe, go on.' I said softly and kissed his hair.

'I woke up *sob * tied to a…a bed *sob * with this guy standing above me and…'

He broke off sobbing out of control again I think I could see were this was going and I was starting to get pissed off. I felt him start to control himself and relax a bit, I waited for him to continue.

'I was so scared James he…he raped me.' I stiffened he said it so quietly I almost missed it.

'James…Jamie please talk to me you promised…' he started crying again and started to pull away that was all it took for me to move again I pulled him back down into my chest and held him there not letting him go.

'Kendall I'm so sorry I can't believe you went through that by your self…I'm the worst boyfriend ever.'

'No you're the best I love you Jamie, I had mum but I was scared to tell you guys and I was terrified if you knew you would leave me.'

I still hadn't registered the fact that my angel had been kidnapped and raped, what sick-minded asshole would want to do that.

'What made you think I would hate you, and I already promised you I wouldn't leave you… I could never leave you.'

Kendall looked up at me his gorgeous green eyes locking with my hazel ones; he reached up and started to play with a bit of my hair that had fallen out of place.

'The guy he told me that no one would want me anymore that you wouldn't want me once you knew what had happened, he told me I was only good for a fuck toy because no one would want someone that was used and disgusting.'

'I'm going to fucking kill this guy!' I practically yelled it and if I weren't holding Kendall so tightly he would have been across the room.

'Sorry I didn't mean to scare you, I just can't believe he said that to you because he is so wrong you are not gross or disgusting and you are defiantly not a fuck toy and I swear if I hear anyone ever say that about you there not going to be able to speak ever again, I love you Kendall you mean the world to me.'

When he looked up at me again I could see he had tears in his eyes again silently sliding down his face.

'You don't mean that James I am disgusting… I wanted my first time to be with you I wanted you to take it and I can't even give you that anymore, how could you still want me.'

He managed to pull himself out of my arms and walked to the other side of the room, this isn't my Kendall he hasn't been acting the same since it happened and we had noticed he had been acting a bit different but we said he would come tell us if it was important, I wanted my old Kendall back not this one who thought I could possible hate him. I got off the bed and walked straight up to him and wrapped him in a hug and immediately started to try and push me away.

'Don't fight it Kendall because I'm not letting you go.'

He stopped and wrapped his arms around me in return and that's when the flood gates really opened I could feel his tears running down my chest but I didn't care all I cared about was making him understand that I was never going to leave him, that he meant the world to me and that I loved him.

We stood there for fifteen minutes Kendall crying into my chest and me rubbing his back and whispering sweet nothings trying to calm him down. Eventually when he stopped I lifted his head with my hand and whipped the tears off his face I then lent in and kissed him, trying to tell him with me lips how much he meant to me I chose this time not to try and dominate the kiss but to keep it neutral and loving when we stopped for air I cupped his cheeks with my hands and looked into his eyes.

'Don't ever say that about yourself again ok? I never want to hear it again it's a bunch of lies your absolutely beautiful Kendall you're my angel.'

He smiled a bit at this a buried his head into my shoulder.

'I'm sorry James I won't.'

I sighed of relief hopefully his miniature breakdown was over for good. I led him back to the bed and laid down he followed my action and laid his head on my chest again then something dawned on me.

'Kendall?'

'Yes Jamie?'

I smiled at the nickname and how innocent he sounded saying it.

'That's the reason why you won't let me touch you below the waist isn't it? I mean I accidentally brushed my hand against your ass before and you froze up.'

'I…ah yeah it is I'm scared I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet James I'm sorry.'

'Don't you dare say your sorry it's not your fault, and it's ok if your not ready I'm willing to wait as long as you need.'

He looked up at me with the biggest smile on his face I had seen in days.

'Really James, you don't mind?'

'Kendall I wouldn't mind having to wait five years if that meant that you wouldn't be scared.'

'I love you Jamie.'

'I love you too Kendall, we should get some rest and talk in the morning.'

My reply was a soft snore.

**(The next day)**

We were all currently down at the pool Kendall had told Carlos and Logan everything this morning and I'm just glade there acting like nothing had really changed. Kendall looked happier he was sitting on the other side of the pool talking with Camille and Jo while I caught up on some tanning.

I had only closed my eyes for a minute when I heard a yelp my eyes flew open instinctively searching for Kendall when I found him I felt the rage build up he was pressed against a wall of the palm woods while some guy was forcing them self on him. I flew out of my chair and ran over pulling the guy off of him and through him on the ground straddling the jerk and started punching the shit out of his face.

'JAMES!'

Kendall's shout brought me out of my trance I looked up to see tears dripping down his face and looking terrified I forgot how scared he would have been because of this.

'Oh god Kendall…'

I jumped up and took him in my arms protectively wrapping him in my arms glaring at everyone that was thinking of coming near us. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes his green eyes full with determination.

'I want to forget James.'

'Huh…what do you mean Kendall?' I said softly whipping the tears of his checks with my thumbs.

'I want to forget the bad things that have happened I want you tell help me forget and replace them with good memories.'

I stared at him shocked he couldn't possibly mean…

'Kendall…are you sure?'

'I haven't been so sure about anything in my entire life.'

I looked into his eyes searching them for anything that could hint that his lying all I could see was love and determination.

I sighed… 'Ok come on let's go.'

He took my hand in his and all but pulled me up to our apartment his movements slowed down as I led him to our room. I turned to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips and gently laid him back on the bed.

'Are you totally sure about this Kendall?'

'Yes James stop asking me that.'

'Ok just if at any time you want to stop you tell me ok? You have to promise that you will say something if you feel uncomfortable.'

'I promise James'.

I nodded finally believing that he really wanted to do this.

I crawled on top of him attaching our lips running my tongue against his bottom lip begging for entrance he admittedly parted his lips and I depend the kiss exploring the inside of his mouth, I pulled back for air and continued down his neck biting down on his pulse point which I was rewarded with a soft moan I continued to suck on his neck and pulling back once finished to admire my work.

'James stop sitting there and do something'.

I chuckled attaching our lips again while unbuttoning his shirt throwing it to a random part of the room I then moved down placing open mouth kisses to kiss chest as I got near his pants I reached up and took one of his nipples between my fingers tweaking it, the moan that he let out was so hot and I felt my cock twitch in my pants. I moved to his jeans and successfully got them off I placed a kiss to the top of his waistband of his boxers and placed my fingers at the top, I felt him stiffen and I moved back up to his mouth and took his lips in mine once again letting him know I wouldn't hurt him I felt him relax and I deepened the kiss while slipping my hand into his boxers wrapping my hand around his length he moaned into my mouth as I started to pump him, I moved to his neck again placing kisses all the way down it.

'Oh god James…p-please I n-need more.'

I pulled my hand back, which he whimpered at and I pulled my shirt and pants off and dropped them beside the bed and moved back down his body pulling his boxers down I then took him fully in my mouth while rubbing his hips with my thumbs.

'James please…oh god so good.'

With his words I speed up relaxing my thought.

'Oh… I think I-I'm gonna…oh god.'

As soon as his tip hit the back of my thought I felt his load in my mouth, I swallowed it all and pulled off him with an erotic pop.

I looked up at him he had his eyes closed and was trying to catch his breath I moved back up to him and cupped his cheek claiming his mouth but this time possessively he immediately gave me entry to his mouth and I deepened the kiss. I pulled back sitting back and reaching into the bedside table pulling out the lube, I opened the top and coated two of my fingers before dropping the bottle on the bed I then spread his legs and placed one of my fingers near his opening.

'You want to keep going babe, because if you're not ok with this we'll stop.'

'D-do it James I need to f-feel you in me.'

'That's all I needed to hear.'

I placed another kiss on his lips before placing one of my hands on his hip rubbing circles while I gently pressed one of my fingers into him I heard him gasp and his breathing sped up I went to pull my finger out but he stopped me.

'J-James I know it's going to hurt at first b-but I c-can get through it.'

I nodded pressing my finger all the way in moving it around a bit before pressing the second in, he whimpered at this and tried to pull his hips back I placed my hand firmer on his hip keeping him in place before slowly moving my fingers and scissoring him, I felt so bad he was whimpering in pain and then I touched it.

'Oh g-god hit t-there again.'

I smirked knowing what I hit I tapped it again and kept moving my fingers around.

'I n-need you J-James please'.

I pulled my fingers out and pulled my boxers down grabbing the lube off the bed and rubbing and coating myself with it before placing myself at his entrance I then put my hands on his hips again and rubbing my thumbs on them for support.

'You ready babe?'

'Yeah just do it, but don't stop ok?'

I just nodded slowing pushing in he let out a sob and I stopped for a minute letting him get used to the intrusion before pushing myself fully in, he let out the worst cry I had ever heard and had tears pouring down his face I kept rubbing his him with my left hand while cupping his cheek with my right and kissing him I pulled back and started whipping his tears away.

'I'm so sorry babe…just relax it will get better I promise…just relax.'

'It h-hurts s-so much Jamie.'

'I know I know I'm so sorry.'

We stayed like that for a few more minutes and then he started to calm down and finally relaxed.

'O-ok I'm ready you can move.'

I pulled half out and gently rocked my hips forward which was met with another cry from Kendall, I repeated my action changing the angle hitting his prostate dead on.

'Oh god keep hitting there!'

I started thrusting into him hitting it dead on every time Kendall was moaning underneath me.

'G-god James f-faster.'

I happily complied speeding my thrusts up meeting his every need it wasn't long before I knew I was getting close; I grabbed his neglected cock and started pumping it in time with my thrusts.

'I-I'm so close'

'Me to Kendall oh god you feel so good.'

With the next thrust I was spilling my seed into him with him spilling his all over the both of us I collapsed on his chest catching my breath before moving back and pulling out of him which he whimpered at the loss, I then laid down beside him pulling him into my chest so I could protectively rap him in my arms.

'How you feeling babe?'

'Amazing!'

He looked up at he his face glowing he then lent up and placed a gentle kiss to my lips before snuggling into my chest.

'Thank-you for helping me forget Jamie.'

'Anything for you Kendall.'

**(In Carlos & Logan's room)**

Logan sighed finally he might be able to get some rest, he was tired from swimming and wanted a nap and he was going to have a serious talk with James and Kendall later on.

'Finally I thought they would never stop'

'What did you think they would go at it for ever'.

'You never know Logan'

'Man your odd sometimes'

Logan felt a pillow hit his head and heard Carlos chuckle.

'Hey Logie?'

He sighed 'Yes Carlos?'

'Do you reckon they might let us join in next time?'

Logan sat up and stared at him.

'Is your mind a scary place to live?'

'I was joking Logan.'

'Whatever'.

'Hey Logan'.

'What now Carlos?'

'I need my pillow back'.

The grunt that came from Carlos told Logan that he had hit him right in the gut Logan laid back down smirking to himself he closed his eyes and it hadn't even been a minute when he felt the bed dip down and felt someone straddling him.

'Hey Logie?'

He opened his eyes and glared at Carlos.

'What do you want Carlos?'

Carlos looked at him with his puppy-dog eyes

'I wanna have sex.'

Ok so there you go I thought I would end it with a bit of Carlos and Logan humor. Please review and tell me what you thought of it. Well Sherelle I did it!


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